is becoming more aware of idols/addictions in my life, getting new, large glimpses of their pervasiveness that I’ve seen only dimly, compared to what I see now.  For example, my idol of efficiency runs everywhere throughout my day, I can now see.  Efficiency has seemed a noble thing to me — good stewardship.  But efficiency-addiction…

because with big-dreads I’m more likely to ask Jesus for help.  Somehow I get snookered into believing I’m supposed to handle mini-dreads on my own, and I live in denial of how much I dislike mini-dreads and live in denial of how they rob me of joy and peace, laboring alone, feeling as though it’s…

unconditional love from two persons.  Jesus and myself.  Otherwise, I hate myself, hate others, hate Jesus and His plan for my life, in my less-sane moments when I’m secretly competitive, critical, agendafied.  Oh that’s nonsense, Dave.  You don’t hate yourself, don’t hate others, certainly don’t hate Jesus and don’t hate His plan for your life. …

about the sins of others, but mostly blind to his own sin, dumbing down law/sin to the place where he imagines himself following Jesus, being one of the good guys, so he feels superior to others, feels more righteous than others – especially outside-the-cup sinners, and imagines himself having a better understanding of the Gospel/Scriptures…

of being ShepherdDave, is the judging I do, of everyone and everything, every minute of every day, until the Shepherd’s Spirit graciously convicts me, giving me awareness of the oppressive weight of being judge/critic of all, thumbs up/down, especially harshly judging myself, leaving me joyless and peaceless, though confident I know best.  Ahhh.  Freshly convicted,…

Because my biggest need is not reaching my goals, but more dependency on Him.  The Spirit sometimes uses a thwarting to open my eyes, freshly convict me of my sin of independence/agenda.  Ahhh. Giving me what I want, just strengthens my independence/willfulness/confidence/agenda/pride/competitiveness, which causes me to judge others, love poorly, want my way at the…

weighed down by an unsolved problem, issue, challenge, decision, until after it’s solved/fixed, and I feel suddenly lighter.  A ShepherdDave experience.  DumbSheepDave never feels the weight of the world on his shoulders, because he has his Shepherd’s yoke, light as a feather.  No problems, no ownership.  Shepherd Jesus’ problem, job.  Ahhh. Being a clueless, childlike,…

so dysfunctional, such a failure at following Jesus.  Whyzat?  If I were obedient, His salvation and His imputed worthiness would mean little to me, because, “He who has been forgiven little, loves little.”  When I only feel forgiven a little, I conditionally love/enjoy Jesus (when He blesses my agenda), conditionally love/enjoy Jesus’ plan for my…

Dunno.  Well.  I guess I want them to appreciate/enjoy me just as I am.  The Golden Rule tells me that I need to be the kind of person who extends that same grace to them, to enjoy them just as they are.  That’s impossible.  I am so competitive that I am always judging others, looking…

Best I can tell, we could have an operating deficit this year of about $5-10k by Dec 31.  I just never know.  Historically, some non-supporters have sent gifts for the deficit in December, and some regular supporters have given extra.  Usually a combination of the two.  Usually not the same folks.  I’m always amazed how…