I experience death – I’m circumstance-dependent for my joy and peace, a control-freak perfectionist trying desperately to engineer happiness for myself and others.  Experiencing The Curse.  The very-worst aspect of The Curse, is imagining I have the wisdom/understanding to guide me through my day, my life.  Worldly.  Independent.  Agendafied.  ShepherdDave.  Having the name of Jesus,…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0EfPDTOIeT4 Mike Major, a good friend of mine and longtime boardmember of GospelFriendships is the software development manager for a big investment company, lives in Philly, loves Jesus, and has a heart for the poor in Philly.  He’s adopted Bethune Elementary School, a public school in an under-served area of Philly, and has been working…

about everything in the Bible and in life, prides himself on being a biblical expert, can’t imagine being humiliated for not knowing something, or being wrong. But DumbSheepDave feels a freedom to not know about everything in the Bible, not understand everything that Jesus had to say.  It’s not cool to not know, but DumbSheepDave…

I’ve been addicted to self-awe all my life, but I’ve lived in denial, because it’s so humiliating/embarrassing to see myself as an egomaniac, when I’ve thought of myself in much-more noble terms.  I’ve been clear-sighted about self-deception in others, but blind to my own.  I should have known better, because I’ve been quoting my wife…

I’m always in awe of me.  Not even others.  Me.  I pay attention to others, because I compete with them, all of them, from somebodies to nobodies, always looking for their weakness, even an Achilles’ heel if necessary.  So that.  I can feel superior to them.  So that.  I can feel good about myself.  Because. …

that the biggest reason I’m not in awe of Him, is that I desperately wannabe in awe of me.  Turns out I’m not in awe of human excellence in others, but jealous/envious of their excellence.  I’m way-more  competitive than I ever realized.  Eeeuuww, I’m even worse than I thought.  Heavy yoke, being more self-aware. But. …

for the easy.  If that.  Because he’s wise in his own eyes, leans on his own understanding, about what’s thankable and what’s not, what’s best for himself and others. DumbSheepDave however, is thankful for the harrrd, unsure about being thankful for the easy, because he’s unsure what’s best for himself or others, but he knows…

As of 11/12 we are running a $12.5k deficit, on a $57k total budget of $33k salary, plus overhead and ministry expenses, and it’s hard to know how we’ll end the year, but if forced to guess, I’d guess a $5k deficit.  In past December’s a few supporters have given extra, and a few non-supporters…

others’ and my own.  I love being admired, even envied, and I especially love others in awe of me, worshiping me, and my performance/achievements.  Jesus had the harshest things to say about people like ShepherdDave, who claim to be God-followers, but are frauds.  Thankfully, whenever the Spirit convicts me of my heinous sin, I’m freshly…

I’m too-easily wowed by human excellence/somebodiness.  This-worldliness.  I need to be wowed by an Other-worldly.  By Other-worldliness.  But alas, I’m powerless to change myself.  I need to be rescued from Above.  HELP, JESUS!  Send Your Spirit and make ShepherdDave freshly sane again. –DumbSheepDave, more sane – other-wordly, sometimes, wondering if the pre-believers around him are…