being in awe of human excellence, achievement, somebodiness, worshiping the created instead of the Creator, and ShepherdDave is just as worldly as any secular, but I imagine myself worshiping only Jesus.  Self-deception.  Hypocrisy.  Striving for excellence, competence, togetherness, coolness.  Competing with other somebodies for human worship.  Confident-I-know-what’s-best — what will make me happy.  Modern-day Pharisee,…

Please, tell me a book I can read, or article, or lecture, or sermon, or seminar, or discipline.  Anything.  I’ve had tastes of Jesus-dependency and I want MORE.  NOTHING compares with it.  I want MORE of me asking and thanking You about everything.  I want MORE curiosity and expectancy to see what You will do…

Is in awe of somebodies.  Interested  in their lives.  What makes them tick.  Because ShepherdDave is a somebody wannabe.  Competitive.  Worldly.  Striving for excellence in ministry and in all of life.  Not content with his accomplishments, possessions.  Not content with himself, wanting to be better, do better, believe better.  Not content with Jesus.  Bottomless pit…

behind everything and everyone.  So I’ll be an enjoyer of everything and everyone, instead of being judge of all, noting strengths and weaknesses, so I can feel superior in some way.  If I don’t see SovereignJesus behind everyone, I will sit in judgment of them.  Whyzat?  I’m a pathetically insecure, immature, neurotic, deluded proving addict,…

I never believe in Jesus’ sovereignty.  Or when I’m fearful.  Or discouraged.  I don’t believe it’s UP TO HIM.  It’s up to ME.  Like the Pharisees, I live in denial of how much I have to lose, by giving up everything in my life to follow Him, especially the righteousness/reputation/somebodiness I’ve worked so hard to achieve.  I’m unwilling to…

just as I am, the great example of a bad example of a Jesus-follower?   I’m not a humble, meek, childlike, Jesus-dependent who is clueless-he-knows-what’s-best for himself and others, so he’s enjoying others, self, Jesus, and His genius plan for every detail of our lives.  Why do I struggle to enjoy the real me?  Why do…

is designed to grow me more Jesus-dependent/Jesus-content/Jesus-humble, so I’m less and less confident-I-know-what’s-best for me, our nation, other nations, the Kingdom.  Especially in the frustrating political arena.  I used to think my car was the main training tool for this, but now I see that EVERY area of my life has been carefully crafted by…

Not about your performance.  Not a competition.  Not about you vs. them.  It’s about Jesus being behind everyone and everything. I find myself being wonderfully helped, repeating those five words, “It’s not a test, Dave,” over and over, as I drive my car.  Hopefully the experience will spread to other areas of my life, because…

example of a bad example.  Bad example of a Jesus-dependent.  And growing me in self-awareness so I could see the real me, and for convicting me of my pride in disliking the real me, so I could begin to accept, even enjoy, the real me, so I could begin to accept, even enjoy, others, especially…

Except when I’ve been freshly convicted of the sin of independence/confidence-I-know-what’s-best.  ShepherdDave HATES uncertainty, lives in denial of how much he HATES trusting Jesus, wants to KNOW what’s next, so if next is not to his liking, he can try and control the outcome.  Evil.  Wicked.  Worldly.  Malcontent. —ShepherdDave, who imagines himself a good Christian,…