the Spirit opens my eyes afresh and I realize that what’s going on in my life, is that Jesus is growing me in self-awareness and self-acceptance of my dysfunctional self.  Ahhh, it’s okay to be DysfunctionalDave.  Ahhh, so that’s why He thwarts my agenda, why things aren’t going the way I want, why I have harrrd today instead of easy.  I’m being retrained in a better way to live.  As a dependent.  A follower instead of a leader.  Humble.  DumbSheepDave.

When I live in denial of my true self, when I don’t want to see how dysfunctional I really am, when I’m desperately trying to be a leader not a follower, a winner not a loser in the eyes of others and in my own eyes, a make-it-happen guy, so I can feel good about myself, oddly enough, that’s when I’m the least happy, workin really, really hard to be a winner.  ShepherdDave.  Independent, wordly, prideful.

–ShepherdDave, needing fresh conviction of the sin of independence, so he can be momentarily transformed into DumbSheepDave, with something the pre-believers around him might actually want

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