When I wannabe a better believer,

that sounds noble, humble.  But it’s pride, not humility.  Self-contempt, not self-acceptance.   Jesus is enough for me when I’ma humble believer who fails, but when I’ma proud believer who fails, Jesus is NOT enough – I wannabe better.  Whyzat?  So I can feel GOOD about myself, instead of – less than.  I wannabe better than others, not – less than.  Anytime I catch myself competitive, critical-judgmental of others or their cars, wanting to feel superior to them, that’s self-contempt, not self-acceptance.  What about sin, Dave?  CONFESS sin.  If I don’t like the way Jesus made me, don’t like who I am, how I do, why I do, that’s pride, not humility.

And why do I strive to obey?  Fight sin?  Because I wanna feel good about myself.  That’s the dark side, sinful side, to my motivation to fight sin, strive for obedience.  For years I’ve tried to convince myself that there’s a bright side, noble side, that I also want to live for Jesus’ glory.  But lately I’m skeptical.  Why – do I want to live for Jesus’ glory?  Because that’s what a mature Christian does.  Why do I imagine myself to be a mature Christian?  So I can feel good about myself.

Wait, Dave.  You don’t fight sin?  I’m saying the WAY to fight sin, is to CONFESS it, not strive to be better.  Striving is human power.  Fleshly way to fight sin.

–ShepherdDave, who sees the problem, but feels powerless to change himself, needs fresh conviction of the sin of being dissatisfied with Jesus and His imputed worthiness, so he might momentarily be DumbSheepDave, enjoying himself and others just as they are, and Jesus and His genius plan, just as it is, so the pre-believers around him might experience the love of Jesus

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