what I learn from that desire, is that I’m evidently looking for relief, trying to prove myself worthy, which means I still have more suppressed childhood pain to face, experience. When I wish I were different – try not to be who I am, this also points to suppressed pain, motivating me to prove myself worthy, feel good about myself based on my performance, not Jesus’ performance. Noticing my need for further healing is a good thing. The immediate goal is not elimination of the pain, but noticing the pain. Noticing is vital for healing.
Confessing my sin is good, healthy, restorative, but despising myself for my sin is not healthy, and not humility, but rather pridefully treating myself as Satan would have me treat myself, not treating myself as Jesus treats me. Jesus loves/accepts/enjoys/cherishes me, just as I am, sin and all, and for me to do the same requires humility, which is a fruit of the Spirit’s work in my life. Humility is not something I can engineer on my own, so I get no credit for it.
–WeakDave, getting healthier because folks have been praying (please keep praying and please pray now)
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