We Christians live in denial of our unhappiness,

unfulfillment, dissatisfaction with Jesus and His imputed worthiness.  Self-awareness and self-acceptance are the biggest needs in the Church today, but the problem goes unrecognized by the vast majority of Christian leaders, who themselves live in denial of their unhappiness, unfulfillment, dissatisfaction with Jesus and His imputed worthiness, ever striving, never content, blinded by ministry idolatry.  Whyzat?  Organized religion weirds people, makes us self-absorbed idolators, wanting to be better, do better, so we cannot bear to look inside and discover we are such failures at obeying, following Jesus, thanking Him for everything just as it is, experiencing the peace of His absolute sovereignty.  Denial defines us.  Like it defined the Pharisees.

“I have seen another evil under the sun, and it weighs heavily on men: God gives a man wealth, possessions, and honor, so that he lacks nothing his heart desires, but God does not enable him to enjoy them.” Eccl 6:1,2.  Not just financial wealth, but ministry wealth, and honor, too.  We believers have a bottomless pit of need for worthiness of our own, and we are never satisfied. Jesus is never ENOUGH.  A stillborn child is better off, than a believer who is not enabled to enjoy himself just as he is, others just as they are, including jerks and enemies, and SovereignJesus and His genius plan for all of us, just as it is.  We all live in denial.  There is no contagious Jesus in us, because there is so little of Him in us.  We live in denial of what miserable failures we are in being fruitful evangelists.  Nobody wants what we have, because we don’t have anything better than what seculars have, except for Heaven.  Our joy and peace is just as circumstance-dependent as theirs.  We wannabe somebodies as much as they do, and are just as horrified at losing the measure of somebodiness we have, just as avoidant of being losers/nobodies.  And just as willful/impatient/independent/prideful/confident-we-know-what’s-best, just as much leaning on our own wisdom, being wise in our own eyes, just as much control-freaks, just as stressed.  Though we imagine ourselves way-more humble, loving and emotionally/spiritually healthy than we really are.  The wicked seem to be others, not us.  Not saying we’re the wickedest we could be, but that we are bigtime self-deceived about our wickedness/independence/pride.

Five years ago I stumbled across a free e-book that Jesus has used to grow me yet-more self-aware and yet-more self-accepting.  I’m becoming a different person than I was five years ago.  Best thing that’s happened to me since I went through Sonship in 1984.  I’m happier, more peaceful, more contented, than ever in my life, and I think those around me feel better loved.  If you vibrate to the message of this email, suspect you need Jesus to grow you further in self-awareness and self-acceptance, lemme know and I’ll send you a copy of the book, and some notes I’ve written about it.

—Dave McCarty, GospelFriendships, who is normally just the chief-confessor in his Tuesday posts, but this Saturday has decided to make an exception, and come out of his cowardly closet about what he really thinks, and then resume his role as chief confessor on Tuesday

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