Ridicule-avoidance is probably 

my deepest core value, explaining more of who I am and why I do, than anything.  Constant stress/tension in my body, day and night, due to my hyper-vigilance.  All my life, this terrible, horrible, no-good, very-bad way to live has felt so normal/natural that I’ve been unaware, until lately, of the terror that never leaves me.

Impossible to be ridicule-avoidant, or tense for any other reason, unless one is confident-he-knows-what’s-best.

— Dave McCarty, GospelFriendships, being retrained by Jesus in cluelessness-he-knows-what’s-best

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