No more decisions, or agenda.

Wow, my body is so-much-more relaxed when I’m looking to Jesus for direction/agenda/decisions on every tiny detail of my life and ministry.  I’ve been praying for decades to be able to live and work out of communion with Jesus, and it’s been happening more than ever in my life lately.  Wow.  Especially when I’m driving my car, all alone.  I’m so laid back that I drive the SPEED LIMIT for the first time in my LIFE — and enjoy it, and don’t mind traffic signals and following little old ladies in Buicks poking along.  You’d only be amazed if you’d have known me, ridden with me, over the past sixty years of driving.

As He has been growing me much-more self-aware in recent years, I’ve come to realize just how much of the time I have felt ALONE and in CHARGE of my life without even realizing it.  Unrecognized, unfelt pressure 24/7.  Trying to do too much.  Feeling behind.  Needing to hurry.  I can’t explain the reason for the difference lately, but it’s saweeet. 

Course, I fail all the time, but CONFESSing my human-wisdom-reliance gets me right back in the saddle of cluelessness-I-know-best/Jesus-wisdom-reliance/Jesus-dependency, curious and expectant to see what He does NEXT in me, others, circumstances.  Not my life, but His.  I’m not my problem, but His.  Life is so-much easier when I’m watching Jesus, instead of trying to manage the details of my life, while judging everyone else, their choices and creations.

Now admittedly, when I feel good, it’s way-easier to be an observer without judgment or agenda, surprisingly patient and content with whatever.  And when I feel lousy, it’s way-easier to be a prover/performer/judge/competitor, easily irritated, wise in my own eyes, leaning on my own understanding, secretly rejoicing in the failure of others, and finding little joy even when circumstances momentarily go my way. 

The enemy of happiness is human-wisdom.

— Dave McCarty, GospelFriendships, feeling like he’s being handed something seculars might actually want

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