Jesus embarrassed me…

the other day.  I’ve got these C/E notes (curious/expectant) all over my house, and the dashboard of my car.  I was surprised by how unexpectant I was of His blessing in my long drive through heavy traffic, to eat at a Golden Corral.  It was one of those times when it seemed like everything went my way: traffic signals, lanes opening up at just the right time.  I was amazed the entire way.  Awed.

But also EMBARRASSED at my puny faith, expecting Him NOT to give me easy, but harrrd, because it’s usually a harrrd drive.  I was braced for harrrd.  I realized how “lowered expectations” is a lifelong strategy for me, to avoid the pain of disappointment.  Lowered expectations — assuming the worst-case scenario is not faith/dependency/humility.  Faith, is surrendering to the worst-case scenario at one end of the spectrum, but ALSO believing He might deliver the BEST-case scenario.  “Either extreme, or anything in between: not MY will be done, Jesus, but Yours.”  Ahhh.

Trying intensely to AVOID the worst-case scenario, or engineer the BEST-case scenario, is not faith/dependency/humility.  I don’t KNOW what’s best for me, and those I love.  Jesus does.  And He will deliver whatever is best for me, today.  “Not my will be done, but Yours, Lord.”  Ahhh.

–CuriousExpectantDave, for the moment, because of the convicting work of the Spirit, exposing his unbelief in the total sovereignty of Jesus

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