unless you really KNOW yourself. Self-awareness is crucial to really knowing Jesus. He who has a present sense of having been forgiven only a little, presently KNOWS Jesus only a little, presently KNOWS himself only a little, presently loves Jesus only a little, presently loves himself conditionally, presently loves others conditionally, and presently loves Jesus’ genius plan for everyone, conditionally. Only big sinners who presently KNOW they are big sinners — pathetically-dysfunctional Christians, presently KNOW how big a Savior Jesus is, are presently wowed by Him, living and working out of communion with Him, the Pearl of Great Price, worth selling all to get. So WHAT if I’m pathetic in the eyes of others and myself, having zero worthiness of my own?
Really KNOWing Jesus and His sovereign reign over every detail of life, causes all my idols to pale by comparison, diminishes their power over my life. And causes me to be curious/expectant to see what He does NEXT, in me, others, circumstances. With His feathery-light yoke on my shoulders, instead of my heavy yoke of idolatry/INdependence/worldliness, causing me to be wise in my own eyes, leaning on my own understanding, confident-I-KNOW-what’s-best-and-what’s-thankable-and-what’s-not, pursuing my agenda, so I’m burdened/pressured under the heavy weight, feeling ALONE and in charge — circumstance-dependent for joy and peace.
Really KNOWing Jesus is a fruit of the Spirit’s work. A gift. I get zero credit. I am powerless to change myself at a root level. I CAN confess my sin, especially the sin of being unsatisfied with Jesus and His imputed worthiness, wanting some of my own. And I CAN keep ASKing for the Spirit afresh — fresh conviction of sin, claiming the promise in Luke 11. And I find it helpful to leave the timetable up to the Spirit. Fresh conviction of sin is the starting place for fresh faith — freshly KNOWing Jesus.
“Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the KNOWLEDGE of God and Jesus Christ our Lord.” 2 Pet 1:2
— Dave McCarty, GospelFriendships, championing Gospel-awareness, self-awareness, and sovereignty-awareness, for Christians — especially DAVE, that the seculars around Christians might actually want something they have
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