I cannot live w/o them. I become tense and frustrated until I can return to them to get some relief from my pain — my suppressed feelings of worthlessness. How do I know they’re suppressed? Because I want to forget/deny/erase my feelings of worthlessness, by doing something to feel good about myself in one or more areas of my idolatry: ministry, investments, health improvements, shrewd purchasing decisions, automobiles. Ahhh. Now I don’t need Jesus.
But my goal is not to change myself, for only Jesus can change me. My need is to begin to understand and accept myself, just as I am, just as my DaddyJesusSpirit understands and accepts me, just as I am. Whenever I get impatient with myself, with the transformation/sanctification process, self-contempt has become the issue. Pride. A humble sheep gladly submits to his Shepherd’s timetable, does not need to feel good about himself based on his own performance, and enjoys his Shepherd, others, himself, and his circumstances, just as the are.
–IdolatorDave, more self-accepting than ever, enjoying life more than ever, because folks have been praying, which gives him hope for the pre-believers around him (please pray now)
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