When most things in life are going my way,

…I’m rarely wowed by Jesus.   Maaaybe grateful to Him for the “blessings” I’m experiencing, because He appears to be enabling my agenda.  But it’s all about me.  Pulling the strings in my life according to plan.  With His help, of course.

But when nothing seems to be going my way, I’m much more likely to recognize my indifference to Jesus: my dissatisfaction with Him, and His performance imputed to me.   And frequently the Spirit convicts me of my self-absorption, so I realize afresh, what astonishing, amazing love He has for the likes of me.

Now, I’m wowed.

Success doesn’t nurture wow for Jesus and His love for me, but failure sure does.  Fertile soil for Jesus-dependency, Jesus-absorption, so I hardly care about the areas of my life where I’m obsessive, controlling, intense.

And when I’m wowed by Jesus, those around me — both believer and pre-believer, are much-more likely to be wowed by the Jesus in me, making a big difference in my life, giving me a joy and a peace that pre-believers want.  Wow is contagious.

–ShepherdDave, always needing prayer to be DumbSheepDave, captivated by his Shepherd (please pray now)

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“Dave, your posts shout self-contempt.”

I understand why some feel that.  So lemme splain.   Years ago, I was filled with self-contempt, did not handle failure well, did not extend grace to myself, but was blind to all this.   But in 1984 Janet and I went through World Harvest’s Sonship Course, and God used it to begin to change our lives.  For many years thereafter, He continued to use it to change me, as I soaked in the good news of Jesus every day, sometimes many times a day, and for years I’ve been asking Pray-ers to pray for fresh conviction of sin in my life, so I’d be less concerned about Dave’s performance, and more concerned about Jesus’ performance, imputed to me.  So I’d be less in love with myself, and more in love with Him.  The result, is that I am today much more aware of my sin/idolatry/failure, but also much more self-accepting than ever before in my life, because I feel so loved and accepted by the only One who counts.  So I’m free-er than ever before, to look inside and see the awful truth about myself, so I can confess what the Spirit shows me, to be wrong.   Without this foundation of grace, I lived for years, in major denial of my feelings, my failures.   And the people who had to live with me, suffered the most from my cluelessness/insensitivity.

The nicest, sweetest, kindest thing He ever does for me, is to freshly convict me of my sin, so I’m feeling freshly forgiven, feeling freshly loved by Him, just as I am, warts and all.   So while it may seem like the guy who writes this stuff is an unhappy, morbidly-introspective, self-absorbed person, I’m just journaling what the Spirit is teaching me, about myself, God, others, and my circumstances, and this truth sets me free-er and free-er, and I’m way happier than ever, in my entire life!  So if you’ve been praying for me, thank you so much, and if you haven’t been, please begin.

–ShepherdDave, who is way more DumbSheepDave than ever before in his life, because folks pray (please pray now)

To read past email updates from WeakDave, or free subscribe: gospelfriendships.icontact.com or search for GospelFriendships (one word) on Facebook, and “like” the page, or subscribe to my blog: dumbsheepdave.com