Worst aspect of the human condition,

is the confidence we all have, that we know best, what’ll make us happy.  We know NOTHing about what will make us happy, but we THINK we do, leaning on our own understanding, wise in our own eyes.  Fools we are.  Only SovereignShepherdJesus knows what’s best for me.

Looking back over my life, I see the countless times I thought I knew what I needed, or what should happen, and so many times I was WRONG.  INdependency has NEVER served me well over the long haul, and any short-term success I’ve experienced has merely strengthened my control addiction, making me yet-more convinced I know what’s best.

But DEpendency on Jesus, now this is the pearl of great price, worth selling all to get.  Ahhh.  ASKing Jesus and THANKing Jesus about everything, especially the harrrd, acknowledging that He knows best and I do not.

So how do I get more Jesus-dependency?  CONFESS my unbelief in His sovereign reign when I notice myself feeling pressure, hurried, stressed, ALONE, like my life is UP TO ME.  Ahhh.  The amazing peace doesn’t last long, because of the control-addicted world around me, outside the Church, and INside too, but it is sweeeet while it lasts.

— Dave McCarty, GospelFriendships, trying to promote Gospel-awareness, self-awareness, and sovereignty-awareness to Christians, especially DAVE, hoping Jesus transforms Christians so much that surrounding seculars actually want something Christians have — other-worldly peace and other-worldly love

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Getting-or-wanting-my-way is a curse,

Getting-or-wanting-my-way is a curse,

not a blessing.  WHAT?  Yup.  Pathway to miserable addiction.  Getting-my-way THWARTED by Jesus, is an enormous blessing, because it opens the door to my being retrained in a much-better way of living — disillusioned in my flesh’s confidence-it-knows-what’ll-make-me-happy.  But getting-my-way thwarted by Jesus is ONLY an enormous blessing when I’m convinced that getting-or-wanting-my-way is a curse.

I know, sounds crazy.  All my life, and all my Christian life, I’ve gotten this backwards.  I think we’ve all gotten it backwards.  I know, sounds so radical, so unAmerican, unChristian.

Think about it.  When I get-my-way, it feels good, and like any addiction, I want more of this.  And more, and more.  In time, I grow addicted to control, addicted to getting-my-way.  My independence is strengthened/encouraged, my flesh’s confidence-it-knows-best is strengthened/encouraged.  I’m wiser and wiser in my own eyes, lean even more on my own understanding.  This is the Curse of INdependence passed down to the descendants of Adam and Eve.  We INdependents are a miserable lot, and I’m convinced that most of us, Christian and nonChristian, live in denial of the extent of our misery.

And every time I want-my-way, I return to life under the Curse.  Miserable existence.  And every time I’m freshly convicted of my INdependence, and embrace Jesus’ genius plan, want HIS way, trust Him to lead the way, confess I dunno best, I’m moved out from under the Curse, momentarily.  Ahhh, relief.

Impossible to be in a hurry, unless I’m wanting-my-way.  Impossible to be frustrated unless I’m wanting-my-way. Impossible to be competitive, to wannabe superior, unless I’m wanting-my-way.  Impossible to analyze, critique, judge, unless I’m wanting-my-way, confident-I-know-what’s-best.

Getting-my-way is not a bad thing, but it’s a mini-success, and like big success, it’s not a bad thing, but verrry dangerous to the health of my soul.  Strengthens my INdependency, my addiction to my confidence-I-know-what’ll-make-me-happy.  Miserable addiction.

So helpful lately, as I go through my day reminding myself over and over, “Getting-or-wanting-my-way is a curse.”

— Dave McCarty, GospelFriendships, championing Gospel-awareness, self-awareness, and sovereignty-awareness, so we Christians might have something the seculars around us want

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When I’d get my way,

I used to THANK Jesus.  Or feel great, worthy.  Now I’m more likely to CONFESS that I have no clue if this is the best thing for me.  Jesus has been retraining me to distrust my flesh’s confidence-it-knows-what’s-best.  So helpful.

And when I’m frustrated or impatient, I’m more-and-more aware of my flesh’s confidence-it-knows-what’s-best.  Helps me to say, “So WHAT?”  I’m saying this to my flesh.  So WHAT?  I’m challenging my flesh’s confidence-it-knows-what’s-best.  Ahhh.  So then I can relax, and am enabled to enjoy everything just as it is, and everyone just as we are, including jerks and enemies.  Ahhh.  Contented.  Agendaless.  Meek.  Jesus takin it to Dave’sFlesh.

The agendafied/willful don’t REALLY believe in the sovereignty of Jesus.  We don’t ASK Him.  We TELL Him.  We are confident-we-know-what’s-best, so we KNOW how to try and direct the CreatorSustainer of the Universe.  And KNOW how to run our own lives.  Pride, not humility.  INdependency, not dependency.  Jesus-dependents are clueless-they-know-what’s-best, but confident their SovereignShepherdJesus knows.  So they look to HIM, instead of trying to direct Him.  Curious/expectant to see what Jesus does NEXT, in me, others, circumstances, rather than charging ahead in the wisdom and power of ME.

— AgendafiedDave, except when freshly convicted of the sin of INdependence/pride/worldliness, wondering if the seculars around him are noticing the difference at times

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When I’m freshly undone, contrite, sane,

because of the Spirit’s fresh conviction of my pride/INdependence/worldliness, I enjoy everyone just as we are, and everything just as it is, all according to the genius plan of SovereignShepherdJesus.  I ooze with patience.  Otherwise, I’m JudgeDave, CompetitiveDave, secretly analyzing, critiquing, judging, looking for ways to feel/be superior to everyone everywhere, yearning for opponents to FAIL, humiliate themselves, in sporting events, politics, or other areas of life.  NO mercy/compassion, except for MY side, MY team, folks who agree with ME. And strangely, NO compassion for myself — for JudgeDave, who is even harder on himself than others, cruel taskmaster, always wanting to be better.  Pride, not humility.  But like all leaders, politicians, gifted at APPEARing humble, compassionate, merciful, wonderful.

— Dave McCarty, GospelFriendships, always needing a fresh work of the Spirit so he experiences fresh sanity — fresh love for self, others, Jesus, and His genius plan

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Thank You, Jesus, that I dunno how

to live in Your world, but am an expert at living in Dave’s world, where everything is run by us humans, especially DAVE.  Thank You, that if I’m not rescued from myself — rescued from this prison, that I’ll go through my day feeling that my life is up to ME.  Thank You that all my knowledge from 76 years of living on Planet Earth, does not enable me to live in Your world as a Jesus-dependent, that I need Your Spirit freshly convicting me of the sin of INdependence.  PRISON BREAK.  Thank You that I’m such a great example of a bad example of a Jesus-dependent.  Thank You that grace is for INdependents whose INdependence has been revealed to them by Your Spirit, so they can CONFESS and be momentarily DEpendent, sane, at peace.  Ahhh.

— Dave McCarty, GospelFriendships, needy as ever for the Spirit’s fresh work, so the seculars around him might be drawn to the Jesus in him

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It feels WRONG

to be so dependent on You, Jesus, that I dunno yet where to eat lunch today, what to wear, when to do the things on my to-do list for today, which to do first.  DEpendency feels WRONG to my flesh, and to the world around me.  DEpendency is to be AVOIDED at all costs.  INdependency requires that I be confident-I-know-what’s-best, wise in my own eyes, leaning on my own understanding.  Feels RIGHT to my flesh.  Feels WRONG to be clueless-I-know-what’s-best.

— Dave McCarty, GospelFriendships, needing to be rescued from himself, by Jesus’ Spirit, so he might be returned — at least momentarily, to the bliss of DEpendency

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Only the desperate are needy ENOUGH to crave

reminders of His total sovereign reign over everyone and everything.  When I have EASY circumstances I am not so desperate to be reminded throughout my day, about the sovereignty of Jesus.  I don’t really need a SovereignShepherdJesus, when I have easy circumstances.  “I can handle this.”  Easy has NEVER done anything for my Jesus-dependency.

When desperate, I don’t have the luxury of feeling ALONE, up to DAVE.  That’s when I need something MORE than a good devotional life: I need MUCH-stronger medicine.  SovereignShepherdJesus reigns.  I’m not MY problem, but His.  And when I THANK Him for the harrrd in my life, I’m reminded that He’s in charge, not Dave.  That He’s executing His genius plan.  And that helps me be curious/expectant to see what He does NEXT in me, others, circumstances.  Ahhh.

— Dave McCarty, GospelFriendships, whose flesh wishes he weren’t so desperately needy at times

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Sooooo unnatural, for me to view

the world around me as Your world, Jesus, because it seems like OUR world — the world of us humans, where things are up to US, and in particular, the world of DAVE, where things are UP TO ME, to make good decisions, avoid regret, or worse — humiliation.  Constant pressure.  Except when Your Spirit freshly convicts me of the sin of unbelief in Your total sovereignty over everyone and everything, so I momentarily relax, and am curious/expectant to see what You do NEXT, in me, others, circumstances.  Ahhh.  So thankful that in Heaven, relief won’t be momentary, but 24/7.

— Dave McCarty, GospelFriendships, needing gobsa fresh conviction throughout his day, so the seculars around him might actually want something he has, at times

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