Not curious and expectant

When I’m not curious and expectant, to see what God will do next, in my circumstances, I’m living by flesh, not by faith: functioning as an independent/orphan/adultlike, wise in my own eyes, leaning on my own understanding, and my biggest need at that moment, is fresh conviction of the sin of independence/unbelief, so I can confess, and be delivered from The Curse, the hell, the prison, of a created-dependent trying to live as an independent: captain of my soul, master of my fate, circumstance-dependent for my joy and peace, addicted to feeling good about self, unsatisfied with Jesus and His righteousness.

–StrongDave, needing prayer to embrace weakness/dependency so he’ll return to asking about everything and thanking about everything, so the pre-believers around him will be wowed by his joy and freedom and want what he has (please pray now)

The Source of Discouragement

I can never remember a time when I was discouraged, that I wasn’t also concerned about my own righteousness/performance/reputation/somebodiness: my passion to feel good about myself based on my performance. Same is true for every time I’ve been fearful, or frustrated/angry. My unhappiness, lack of joy/peace, always has to do with me and my performance, or my inability to fix someone I love, which is another example of my performance, or lack thereof. Whenever I’m fearful, frustrated, discouraged or bored, Jesus means very little to me, and His righteousness is definitely unsatisfying: I want something more: some righteousness of my own: I want more than anything in the world, to be able to feel good about self, and I don’t.


So the next time I’m stuck there, what can I do? Confess my sin of unbelief, my sin of dissatisfaction with Jesus and His righteousness.


–IndependentDave, needing prayer to be so freshly captivated by Jesus, that nothing else hardly matters, and the nonbelievers around him are wowed and want what he has (please pray now)

Not My Will Be Done, But Yours!

When I’m struggling to believe, how do I believe better/more?  How do I get more faith for my situation?  Jesus said, “Let not your hearts be troubled: believe in God.  Believe also in Me.”

Okay, but how do I believe, when I know I need to believe better, but I’m struggling?  Is faith like a muscle that I exercise?  No, faith/repentance is something that is granted to us.  Jack Miller once told Rose Marie that the starting place for faith, is conviction of sin.  I’ve never forgotten that.  Has been enormously helpful in dealing with my flesh, the devil, and the worldly worship of strength/confidence/somebodiness.  Fresh faith (repentance) comes from fresh conviction of sin, and conviction of sin comes from the Holy Spirit, not something I can generate within me, make happen on my own.  Reading Scripture, listening to a sermon, might be used of the Spirit to freshly convict me of my sin, leading to repentance, but might not.  But one thing I can do, is to ask for the Spirit, to come afresh and convict me of my sin of independence, so I can confess, and be temporarily set free to enjoy Jesus, and have a healthy indifference to all the other things vying for my focus, my worship, in my daily life.  Ahhh, Jesus-dependency.

“No, Dave, you’re wrong: I don’t need any more conviction of sin: I see what a big sinner I am: my sin is everywhere before me.”  Well, if you’re struggling to believe, the enemy has snookered you into believing a lie about something.  I’d venture to guess that there is some area of your life that you are holding onto too tightly, that you are unwilling to turn loose of, some idol/agenda no matter how noble or seemingly selfless, that you are unwilling to die to, unwilling to offer up to God and say, “Not my will be done, but Yours.”  Most likely it has to do with your own righteousness/performance/somebodiness, or the righteousness/performance/somebodiness of one of your kids: your confidence that you know best, how He should be ordering your life, and your being bummed, frustrated, or fearful, that He’s not listening to your prayers.  You are not willing to fail, not willing to have your precious righteousness/reputation stripped from you.  Jesus is not enough for you.  Like He’s not enough for me, in my many less-sane moments.

–WeakDave, having the time of his life, with more healthy indifference to his areas of idolatry, because folks have been praying for fresh conviction of sin in his life (please pray now)

Sanity!

I know I’m sane when, I hardly care about anything or anyone but Jesus.   He’s not merely one of the big deals in my life: He’s everything, and everything else, as good as it might be, simply pales in comparison to Jesus.

So how do I get there, when I’m not there?   Impossible.   I cannot change myself.  I need intervention from on High: fresh conviction of the sin of independence: the sin of being unsatisfied with Jesus and His righteousness, wanting something more: some of my own, that comes from my performance, my agenda for me and those I love, or noticing the poor performance of others.

–StrongDave, needing prayer to embrace his weakness/neediness/dependency so he’ll be freshly in love with Jesus, and others, especially the nonbelievers around him who are also addicted to being strong, but don’t see the bondage, the hell, of this addiction