Jesus only seems Lord of my life when

I have no agenda of my own — except being curious and expectant to see what He does NEXT, in me, others, circumstances.  When I have no agenda of my own I dunno what’s best for me or others, and I’m just an observer without judgment or agenda, instead of a performer, prove-er, competitor.  Having no agenda of my own enables me to enjoy everyone just as we are, and everything just as it is.  When I have no agenda of my own, I’m the happiest, most peaceful.  No hurry, no worry.  And more importantly, I’m others-absorbed, rather than self-absorbed — enabled to unconditionally love the hardest to love.

But it feels WRONG to to my human-wisdom to not know what to do next — to not have an agenda of my own.  Every human has an agenda, so agenda seems normal, okay, to human-wisdom.  For me, following Jesus and His agenda, not my own, is not normal.  ABnormal.  Weird.  Being weird is becoming okay for me.  Jesus is making me weirder and weirder, according to human-wisdom.

— Dave McCarty, GospelFriendships, being retrained by Jesus is a better, more-dependent way of living, no longer trying to change Christians or nonChristians or himself

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I keep forgetting

that Jesus is in charge of my life, so I don’t have to be, so I don’t need to feel ALONE, feel pressure, feel behind.  Truth is, I’m NEVER behind, always right on His schedule.  But.  Not on the schedule of my human-wisdom.  So while my human-wisdom doesn’t believe it, my circumstances are PERFECT for me, for now, could not possibly be improved upon, could not be any-more perfect.  But you can’t convince my human-wisdom of this. 

Because I keep forgetting, I need a ho lotta fresh conviction of my UNBELIEF in Jesus and His sovereign reign over every detail of my life, so I can do a ho lotta CONFESSing.  CONFESSing is the only thing that brings me relief, sanity, freedom, the other-worldly peace that is vastly superior to the peace experienced by human-wisdom-reliants who don’t REALLY believe in His sovereign reign, which leaves us feeling ALONE and in CHARGE of our lives.  Reading the Bible is great, but only if the Spirit is USING the Bible, to convict me of the sin/idolatry to which I’ve recently been blind.

— Dave McCarty, GospelFriendships, being enabled by Jesus at times, to baby step in a way-better direction

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I only dread the future

when I’m human-wisdom-reliant, confident-I-know-what’s-best, wise in my own eyes, leaning on my own understanding.  Eyes on the waves of my circumstances, instead of Jesus.  So whadda I do when I realize I’m dreading?  CONFESS, hopefully.  Confession delivers happiness, relief.  Trying harder to believe better, do better, delivers misery, because the focus is on ME and MY performance, not Jesus and His performance, His sovereign reign.

And if confession doesn’t deliver happiness, relief?  There’s more to confess I haven’t yet seen.  So I ask for the Spirit to come afresh, maybe claiming the promise of Luke 11 that if we ask for the Spirit, He’ll give us the Spirit — fresh conviction of sin.  Ahhh.  The starting place for fresh faith, is fresh conviction of sin.  Ahhh.

— Dave McCarty, GospelFriendships, becoming more-and-more disillusioned with his human-wisdom, because the Spirit has been convicting him more and more, hoping the seculars around him are noticing the difference 

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The news nourishes my human-wisdom,

causing me to feel ALONE and in CHARGE of my life.  The news is not Jesus-centric, but human-wisdom-centric, so the news is dangerous to my Jesus-dependency, my happiness.  The news undermines the peace and joy that OUGHTABE mine in Jesus.  So I can only take news in small doses, together with LARGE doses of being reminded of Who’s in charge, and that humans only SEEM to be in charge.  All the news today is about COVID-19, and scary — not just for the pandemic implications, but for the coming Greater Depression around the world, following the greatest debt binge in the history of the world. 

I can only handle small doses of the news.  I need LARGE doses of the reality informed by Scripture — that Jesus is totally in charge, that I dunno what’s best, but He does, that human-wisdom-dependency delivers despair, while Jesus-dependency delivers sanity, peace, joy, even in the midst of the worst crisis imaginable. 

Jesus-dependency, faith, is a gift from Above.  I cannot generate it from within.  I get zero credit for any fresh faith, Jesus-dependency I experience.  The starting place for fresh faith, is fresh conviction of the sin of unbelief that Jesus is in charge, is worthy of my trust.  The nicest, kindest, sweetest, most-loving thing He ever does for us kids of His, is to freshly convict us of the sin to which we’re blind.  So we can CONFESS, and be freshly at peace, so we have what it takes to unconditionally love those around us, especially the hard to love.

— Dave McCarty, GospelFriendships

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Yes, my life is extraordinarily harrrd,

but so WHAT?  I am not MY problem, but Jesus’ problem.  I’m not in charge.  He is.  If He is using the harrrd to retrain me in a better way to live — a more-Jesus-wisdom-reliant way, I’m game!  Well, sometimes.

My human-wisdom HATES the harrrd, demands EASY, but my human-wisdom has NEVER delivered happiness to me, nor fruitfulness with seculars — only momentary joy/peace when things go my way.  Horrible to be addicted to things going my way — my human-wisdom’s way.  I need rehab/retraining and that’s why I have extraordinarily harrrd.  Suffering produces perseverance, then character, then hope/faith/Jesus-wisdom-reliance/Jesus-power.  Big price to pay for this overhaul, but a BARGAIN.  Gives me hope for being seed cast on fertile soil, producing a hundredfold.  

— Dave McCarty, GospelFriendships, being retrained by Jesus, frequently being dragged along kicking and screaming

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No more decisions, or agenda.

Wow, my body is so-much-more relaxed when I’m looking to Jesus for direction/agenda/decisions on every tiny detail of my life and ministry.  I’ve been praying for decades to be able to live and work out of communion with Jesus, and it’s been happening more than ever in my life lately.  Wow.  Especially when I’m driving my car, all alone.  I’m so laid back that I drive the SPEED LIMIT for the first time in my LIFE — and enjoy it, and don’t mind traffic signals and following little old ladies in Buicks poking along.  You’d only be amazed if you’d have known me, ridden with me, over the past sixty years of driving.

As He has been growing me much-more self-aware in recent years, I’ve come to realize just how much of the time I have felt ALONE and in CHARGE of my life without even realizing it.  Unrecognized, unfelt pressure 24/7.  Trying to do too much.  Feeling behind.  Needing to hurry.  I can’t explain the reason for the difference lately, but it’s saweeet. 

Course, I fail all the time, but CONFESSing my human-wisdom-reliance gets me right back in the saddle of cluelessness-I-know-best/Jesus-wisdom-reliance/Jesus-dependency, curious and expectant to see what He does NEXT in me, others, circumstances.  Not my life, but His.  I’m not my problem, but His.  Life is so-much easier when I’m watching Jesus, instead of trying to manage the details of my life, while judging everyone else, their choices and creations.

Now admittedly, when I feel good, it’s way-easier to be an observer without judgment or agenda, surprisingly patient and content with whatever.  And when I feel lousy, it’s way-easier to be a prover/performer/judge/competitor, easily irritated, wise in my own eyes, leaning on my own understanding, secretly rejoicing in the failure of others, and finding little joy even when circumstances momentarily go my way. 

The enemy of happiness is human-wisdom.

— Dave McCarty, GospelFriendships, feeling like he’s being handed something seculars might actually want

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How do I tell

when I’m relying on my human-wisdom rather than Jesus-wisdom?  When I feel behind, in a hurry, intense, irritated, impatient, or disappointed when things go south, or elated when things go my way.

When I’m relying on Jesus-wisdom, my eyes and thoughts are fixed on Him and His-wisdom, curious/expectant to see what He does NEXT in me, others, circumstances, blissfully content with everything just as it is, and everyone just as we are.

— Dave McCarty, GospelFriendships, trying to expose human-wisdom-reliance in Christians — especially DAVE, so seculars might be attracted instead of repulsed

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Jesus is undermining my trust

in my human-wisdom, and the human-wisdom of others, and it’s the best thing that’s happened to me since He converted me back in 1966, because I’m living and working more out of communion with Him than ever.  Ahhh.  But it’s harrrd to be retrained in a better way of living.  My human-wisdom HATES suffering/harrrd, and my human-wisdom and others’ human-wisdom are still huge influences on my life, so I NEED the suffering/harrrd, things not going my way, to snap me back into reality — not the reality according to my human-wisdom — informed by my eyes and ears, but the reality informed by Scripture that says Jesus is behind everyone and everything.  Ahhh.  ‘Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus.

— Dave McCarty, GospelFriendships, convinced that Christians — especially DAVE, need transformation if seculars are going to be drawn to an overflowing Jesus in Christians 

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