Entries by WeakDave

Are you okay with being fearful?

Or do you dislike yourself when fearful?  This is not self-love/self-acceptance, but self-hate/self-contempt. Does Jesus love you when you’re fearful?  Of course He does.   His love for you is not conditional.  But your love for yourself, is conditional, your acceptance of yourself, is conditional, if you are irritated with yourself when you don’t perform up […]

Becoming a dumb sheep is a repulsive concept

to a shepherd.  Why would any shepherd, want to be a dumb sheep?   Ultimate humiliation.   Moving from being the lofty, respected, wise and resourceful independent, all the way down to the most dependent of all: a dumb sheep, not having enough sense to come in out of the rain, needing to be shepherded, needing to […]

All my life I’ve been living in denial,

of how worthless I’ve felt, of how much I’ve hated myself.   Wow.  I would never have guessed or believed it.  But now I am learning that suppressed feelings of shame/worthlessness from childhood, lead adults to the kind of drivenness, intensity, competitiveness, trying to prove myself worthy, to myself and others, that has characterized my life.  […]

Big, surprising answer to prayer.

God has led me to an amazing discovery in the past week, about my throbbing gut, that is blowing my mind: it’s emotionally rooted, due to a lack of self-love.  That’s right, self-love.   Whenever I don’t love myself unconditionally as Jesus loves me, my gut throbs.  As I confess my sin of performance-based conditional self-love, […]

When I’m discouraged by circumstances,

I’m always confident of what’s best for me and those I love.   ShepherdDave, leaning on his own understanding.  My biggest need is not changed circumstances, but a changed heart: fresh conviction of the sin of independence: unbelief in His promise to work all things together for my good, and His glory: unbelief in the perfectness of His […]

I’d rate my circumstances a two,

on a scale of 1-5, with 5 being tops.  Okay, maybe a one.  In the past, I have rated my circumstances a 3 or 3.5 in my monthly report to GospelFriendships boardmembers, and to the folks at WHM on my monthly report as supportcoach to new missionaries.   So, why the downgrade?  Not due to […]

Answered prayer for one of my heroes.

When this pastor began asking folks outside his church to pray for Jesus to change him, and the church he had months earlier begun to pastor, and to open doors to friendships with pre-believers, he had no pre-believing friends, the church was going downhill and unresponsive to his preaching, and he battled daily discouragement, freely […]

How does Jesus retrain me,

in a better way to live — more Jesus-dependent?   By thwarting my agenda. My agenda for sleep, optimal health, controlling my circumstances, reaching goals, fixing things, getting places rapidly and efficiently.  Independence/self-reliance.  Lovingly thwarting my agenda.  ShepherdDave thinks a loving God should bless his agenda.  Just the opposite, oftentimes.   Jesus made me for dependency, and […]