Entries by WeakDave

Abstinence from areas of idolatry.

Abstinence has been a workable strategy for many people in AA for many years.  Why shouldn’t abstinence be a workable/helpful strategy for me, in dealing with my idolatry, another word for addiction?  Helpful for getting me out of the trap of addiction: A.K.A. the trap of proving myself worthy.  My idols really are less strong […]

What does faith/dependency look like?

Enjoying Jesus, enjoying others, enjoying myself, enjoying my circumstances, just as they are.   What if I’m irritated with myself for struggling to live this way, for being such a loser as a follower of Jesus?   That’s not humility, that’s pride.  Self-contempt.  Satan loves us wishing we were different, unaccepting of where we are in the […]

Arguing while humble.

What would that even look like?  Arguing with respect, admiration, enjoyment, of the opposition, rather than vilifying them?  Is humility the missing ingredient today in politics, as well as in the Church, business, education, sports, and the media?  And in Dave? God opposes the proud/strong/confident, but his heart goes out to the humble/weak/meek.  True also, […]

When I notice the pull of an idol,

what I learn from that desire, is that I’m evidently looking for relief, trying to prove myself worthy, which means I still have more suppressed childhood pain to face, experience. When I wish I were different – try not to be who I am, this also points to suppressed pain, motivating me to prove myself […]

Why are my idols so strong?

I now suspect it’s because of suppressed excruciating pain from childhood, that I evidently have not wanted to face, experience.  What is the pain?  I’ve concluded that it’s my feeling unloved by my parents, and my being ignored, criticized and ridiculed by my dad, causing me to suppress feelings of worthlessness, shame, of being a […]

How to get more amazing grace.

Grace flows downhill to the lowly/needy who know they are needy: sinners/failures/losers who know they are sinners/failures/losers.  Not uphill to the strong/confident/superior.  But this grace is impossible for us mortals to orchestrate. So how can I get more grace?  Ask Him, and if it helps you believe, claim the promise of Luke 11, that if […]

Having self-awareness and self-acceptance,

doesn’t mean I’m emotionally and spiritually healthy; it means I know who I am, and accept/enjoy all of me, including my emotional and spiritual dysfunction, just as Jesus accepts/enjoys me, dysfunction and all.  What keeps me from self-awareness and self-acceptance?  Pride.  –ProudDave, needing prayer for fresh conviction of sin so he’s HumbleDave, not needing any […]

“I’m no loser, but a winner.”

These six words have defined me my whole life, since high school, when for the first time in my life I got some real encouragement in the direction of somebodiness, and it felt so good it has driven me like nothing else would have driven me.  And explains so much of who I am and […]