Entries by WeakDave

How do I get fresh faith?

Is faith like a muscle I exercise, so I get credit for something I initiated/generated?   No, faith is something granted by God.  Jack Miller once told Rose Marie that the starting place for faith, is conviction of sin.   When I first heard that back in the 80’s, on a recording of Rose Marie teaching women […]

Proud believer enjoys himself,

when winning, but hates himself when losing or mediocre.  Humble believer enjoys himself when winning, losing or mediocre. Proud believer loves himself conditionally, based on performance.  Humble believer loves himself unconditionally, just as he is, just as Jesus loves him. Proud believer is selfish/self-absorbed, loves others conditionally, and is indifferent to Jesus.  Humble believer loves […]

Jesus will not be contagious in me,

until He has brought healing to the wound on my soul that gives inordinate power to the idols I unconsciously use to prove myself worthy, distracting me from Jesus-dependency.  Jesus will make the kind of difference in my life that will attract others when I don’t care about the things I’ve cared way too much […]

Abstinence from areas of idolatry.

Abstinence has been a workable strategy for many people in AA for many years.  Why shouldn’t abstinence be a workable/helpful strategy for me, in dealing with my idolatry, another word for addiction?  Helpful for getting me out of the trap of addiction: A.K.A. the trap of proving myself worthy.  My idols really are less strong […]

What does faith/dependency look like?

Enjoying Jesus, enjoying others, enjoying myself, enjoying my circumstances, just as they are.   What if I’m irritated with myself for struggling to live this way, for being such a loser as a follower of Jesus?   That’s not humility, that’s pride.  Self-contempt.  Satan loves us wishing we were different, unaccepting of where we are in the […]

Arguing while humble.

What would that even look like?  Arguing with respect, admiration, enjoyment, of the opposition, rather than vilifying them?  Is humility the missing ingredient today in politics, as well as in the Church, business, education, sports, and the media?  And in Dave? God opposes the proud/strong/confident, but his heart goes out to the humble/weak/meek.  True also, […]

When I notice the pull of an idol,

what I learn from that desire, is that I’m evidently looking for relief, trying to prove myself worthy, which means I still have more suppressed childhood pain to face, experience. When I wish I were different – try not to be who I am, this also points to suppressed pain, motivating me to prove myself […]

Why are my idols so strong?

I now suspect it’s because of suppressed excruciating pain from childhood, that I evidently have not wanted to face, experience.  What is the pain?  I’ve concluded that it’s my feeling unloved by my parents, and my being ignored, criticized and ridiculed by my dad, causing me to suppress feelings of worthlessness, shame, of being a […]