Entries by WeakDave

I’ve been living a double life

since age 24, when Jesus drew me to Himself.  But I never saw my double life til now.  I’ve lived in two different worlds: Jesus’ world, and Dave’s world.  When I live in Jesus’ world, I’m in awe of Him and His worthiness as seen in creation, and His genius plan for everyone and everything. […]

Impossible to really KNOW Jesus,

unless you really KNOW yourself.  Self-awareness is crucial to really knowing Jesus.  He who has a present sense of having been forgiven only a little, presently KNOWS Jesus only a little, presently KNOWS himself only a little, presently loves Jesus only a little, presently loves himself only a little, presently loves others only a little, […]

Why am I more aware of You in nature?

Jesus, I want to be overwhelmed by You and Your worthiness, rather than always being so consumed with me and my worthiness.  It’s strange to me, Lord, that I’m not at all critical-judgmental of nature, created and supervised by You, but am easily critical-judgmental of us humans and our creations, also created and supervised by […]

I never thank Jesus for my problems,

challenges, scary opportunities, when I’m confident-I-know-what’s-best/worldly/INdependent/pride-filled, wise in my own eyes, leaning on my own understanding.  If I pray at all, it’s to ask Him to bless my agenda, get me outta this harrrd/suffering/scary.  Pride, not humility, to know what’s thankable and what’s not.  And I’m never happy/content in this confident-I-know-best mode of living.  I […]

The essence of worldliness is,

fixing my eyes and thoughts on my performance/worthiness, instead of Jesus and His imputed performance/worthiness.  Worldliness is contagious.  Outside the Church, and inside too.  A worldly feels pressure, alone, UP TO ME.  An alien/stranger to this world, on the other hand, feels contented, happy.  An alien/stranger is never defensive, never failure-avoidant, never feels the need […]

Much harder to experience the benefit

of being curious/expectant to see what Jesus does NEXT, in me, others, circumstances, when I feel lousy physiologically.  So He’s been retraining me to be compassionate toward myself when I feel lousy, and lower my expectations for the joy and peace that’s mine in Him.  Lower my expectations for getting comfort from believing in His […]

Happiness comes from

getting my way.  WRONG.  Misery comes from getting my way.  Getting my way is addictive.  Getting my way is the essence of worldliness/INdependency/pride/arrogance.  When Jesus is Lord, I find happiness in HIS way, HIS leading, dependency on HIM.  But Dave’sFlesh is totally convinced that getting Dave’s way will produce happiness for Dave.  Fool’s errand to […]

What the Sixers have not-yet experienced:

How to live fearlessly while under great pressure. How can a sports team, or an individual, under the pressure of a big game, even a championship playoff, live with freedom, reckless abandon?  You need a healthy-indifference to the outcome: willing to fail, succeed, whatever.  The outcome cannot be the focus.  Winning is not the goal. […]